I married my husband out of pity. I had a boyfriend I was dating, and we stayed together for over a year in the same room before he traveled out of the country. He told me to wait for him, and once he returned, we would have our traditional marriage, to which I agreed. However, while I was working, two brothers were after me like “tomorrow no dey.” Later, the younger one stepped aside for his older brother, whom I repeatedly told for a few months that I wasn’t interested. After much persistence, I eventually accepted his advances, just to pass the time.
I gave him a condition: no intimacy, to which he agreed. He helped me occasionally—when I was sick, he would give me money for treatment, and sometimes he gave me money for food (though not always). During this time, I maintained normal communication with my boyfriend. To cut the long story short, years passed, and my boyfriend didn’t return as we had planned. After much pleading, crying, and kneeling in public to beg me, I eventually married the other guy. But after the traditional marriage, everything changed. He stopped caring, and there was no attention anymore; everything just vanished.
The problem now is that even the small love I developed for him has disappeared because he has gone back to his ex—the same one I had issues with before marrying him. He no longer touches me as his wife, even during my pregnancy. He hardly touched me, even when the doctor advised him to do his part to avoid complications, but nothing changed. When I eat, he complains that I eat too much. Even after I gave birth, he still complains. To buy baby food, he complains. He literally complains about everything, yet he doesn’t buy me anything.
He buys clothes for himself and hides them from me. I’m not complaining because I hustle my own money and take care of myself. My issue is that he doesn’t give me any attention. I have begged him many times to stay away from his ex and get another girlfriend or side chick that I wouldn’t mind, but not his ex, because she could destroy our family just because he left her to marry me. He has refused, and because of this, he no longer makes love to me as his wife. His family keeps supporting him, and they now see me as someone who complains a lot. Now, my boyfriend has come back after so many years.
I told him the truth, and he was heartbroken because all his hopes and plans were on me. He has no parents or siblings, just him. He couldn’t bear the pain, so he left again without seeing me. He can’t ask me to leave the marriage because of the baby; if he does, his conscience won’t accept it, according to him. Now, he’s telling me to do whatever I need to do, so when he returns at Christmas, we’ll do the needful. Now, my husband doesn’t even pick my parents’ calls anymore, for reasons best known to him. My dad says I shouldn’t continue with the marriage. Please, I need advice from your audience. 🙏 I will be in the comments section.
Also Read: I Can’t Hate My Boyfriend