I was in a relationship with my ex for six years. We both had nothing; she used to steal some change from her mom to buy me airtime back then. Things started getting better for me in 2020, with her support, and we both lived a luxurious life together. The reason for the breakup was her disrespectful behavior. She often in$ulted and physically abu$ed me, but would always cry and beg whenever I tried to end the relationship, promising she would change. We had a vacation in the UK last year when we discovered she was pregnant. Those periods were really bad as she couldn’t eat or drink water because she was always throwing up. I sincerely wanted us to keep the pregnancy, but I was scared due to her disrespectful behavior.
I feared ending up with her, so I suggested we remove the pregnancy and get married this year if she had changed from her aggressive behavior. We came back to Nigeria and things were cool. It’s usually difficult to go a month without an argument, but this time we stayed three months without one. I even tested her temper, and she behaved well, so I proposed to her. But suddenly, she started acting aggressively again, and this time she wasn’t apologetic. She said, “I can never change; this is how I’ve always been. If you can’t deal with me, then go.” At that moment, I broke up with her and blocked her everywhere.Two days later, she texted and called from different numbers, apologizing and promising to change.
But I felt she’d never change, because she’s been saying she’d change since 2021, when she’s not APC. It’s been over five months since the breakup. I thought I had moved on, but whenever I remember the ab0rtion and what she went through during the pregnancy, I feel so bad and sometimes cry. Instagram doesn’t help either. I keep seeing reels of babies and parents all the time. Also, most of the girls I meet now are not serious; their “billings” are too much. Imagine meeting a girl, and within 24 hours, she’s asking for N300k. Some friends say I’ll never find love due to my current status and that I should pretend to be poor to find love, which sounds crazy to me. I miss my ex’s food too. She would go the extra mile to satisfy my cravings and even wake up at 2 AM to cook for me.
We were also sexually compatible and explored a lot together. The only problem was her aggressive behavior.
My questions are:
1. Can an aggressive or violent person change?
2. What can be done to make such a person change?
3. Should I call her back to try the answers to question 2?
4. How can I move on from the six-year experience I had with her?
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