I’m in a relationship, and I don’t like the financial dimension. My partner gives me N50k weekly, and that’s it—nothing extra for hair or nails, none of that. When I ask for things, I always get told that it’s too much, I should be frugal, I ask a lot, and I should stop because no one would take me seriously. I’m saying this story from all points without making myself look like a v!ctim. I work, and I earn nothing less than N1.5m naira monthly, from my salary and business. He is richer than me; I’m talking he lives in Ikoyi and is a businessman. I don’t ask for things out of greed. We ought to get married eventually, but should I wait until marriage to get treated better? No trips for me, no flowers, no gifts.
I buy the occasional gifts for him. He’s sweet; he books my flights to wherever I need to be and always assigns a driver to me in every city I have to be in. I’m beautiful and well-mannered, put together. I buy my own wigs, gold jewellery, and personal things. For example, my phone was damaged under a car tyre. This man told me to get it fixed. I asked him to just help get a new one. He was like, “What will you do with a phone of N2m?” (It was a 13 Pro Max that was damaged). He uses expensive Samsungs. He wears watches worth over $100k. He can’t and won’t buy me designer bags because I shouldn’t ask.
I’m not feeling entitled because if he doesn’t agree to get wigs and stuff, I don’t even ask; I only try once every three months, lol. I’m not entitled because I understand the part of not getting designer stuff, etc. This man—I can’t rely on him. The phone was a necessity; I had to sort it out myself. I can’t have an emergency and call him. He acts like a father. I’m currently in a N3m issue. I obviously can’t sacrifice my salary straight up because I have bills. I can’t even ask him because I’ll hear word. He doesn’t think I’m working or have anything going on for myself. He downplays my job. Maybe he feels I’m trying to live a fake life by asking for things I genuinely need?
N50k is less than what I pay a worker for my business as a salary. I need clothes too. The debt is draining me. I can’t afford to expand my business, and if I lose my job (which I think I’m getting laid off from—they’ve been hinting they can’t afford to keep some workers—I’m a junior staff, so definitely). I pray, and I know I pray. You guys are so lucky to get young boyfriends who buy you the world, fund businesses you aren’t even worried about. I respect this man, and I appreciate his efforts. I don’t cook or clean whenever I visit, so no, I don’t do chores, but there are chefs and supporting staff. I need to buy new clothes for life and work; they haven’t paid my salary yet.
I think I should go wear the worst clothes, not get my hair done around him. Look like my problem, maybe he’ll help. All the techniques, I try them. Strangers gift me too, so please, no s!lly scope. But I stopped accepting stuff from strangers because I know it’s not leading anywhere. How can I ask him for help? What do I say? Do I look like my problems? If it’s love, yes, he loves me because when he travels occasionally, he sends gifts to me (things that aren’t even my style, but I collect and appreciate). His chefs cook for me and pack them to my place. Drivers are assigned to me. I fly business class anywhere, and he pays. He’s sweet. I’m just there.
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