I dated a man for a year, and he was kind to me. I met him under circumstances where he was honest with me about his financial status and also that he sm0ked pot. However, he stopped sm0king after meeting me. He is 29, and I am 2 years older. All the same, he has always tried to be there for me in various ways. I tried my level best to be with him for a year, and then we decided to take a break because we didn’t agree on several things. He had to return to his country because he no longer had a visa here.
We have been apart for a year now. Despite going to his home country, he has kept in touch with me as much as he could. I don’t want to think negatively of him because he has never been suspicious of my whereabouts. It makes me want to remain loyal to him for having trust in me. He had the child when he was 21/22, and the child is already 8 years old. The child lives with his grandparents, and the baby mama comes and goes. Initially, he informed me that his brother was fully responsible for his son.
However, that wasn’t the case, and I didn’t want to date someone with children because of baby mama drama. I didn’t know he had a child before I fell in love with him too. I also feel that they will be meeting again and again due to the child. However, he is not permanently based in the same country as his child, baby mama, and family. He told me that there was nothing between his baby mama and him. Plus, he provided me with single-status proof of himself. He has proposed marriage, but we are yet to legalise it.
We live in a Muslim country, and marrying a Muslim means changing your name, etc. I am certain he didn’t propose marriage for citizenship because this country doesn’t provide citizenship after marriage. It could take a whole decade just for permanent residency. We initiated the break because we couldn’t find a way together. Now, he mentioned that we should try to be together and work it out. There is no perfect man; some cheat despite having no children before marriage, and others have babies out of wedlock.
I don’t want to be judgemental because not all men or women end up with their baby mama/daddy, and that’s the reason there are many single parents. Yes, many would say that dating a man with a baby mama is wrong, but would you say the same if a man is interested in a single mum? This is complicated, and I would appreciate comments from those who have been in a similar situation or from a mature audience. Opinions from men or women without bias are most welcome. Please be kind and considerate with your comments.